My ex-boyfriend got married today.
I had gotten a call from an amebo a week back telling me about it. I was in the middle of some financial calculations before the call came in, and immediately she told me, my brain froze for the next 20 seconds. After the call, I just sat there enjoying my brain freeze. lol.
And then, I went back to my calculations like nothing had happened. But for the rest of the day, I walked around with a huge headache. And then I got another call from some1 saying : "Congrats oh! I heard you guys FINALLY fixed a date". Silence. Click. Call ended. I dont know what got to me more - the fact that he was getting married or the person he was getting married to. I think it was the latter. I couldnt figure out why he'd decide to marry her.
I kept going over it and I just couldn't arrive at a logical conclusion. Then I called him. Prior to now, we hadn't really been on speaking terms for the past 3 months (apart from the Happy new year call). He didn't pick up. I sent him a text telling him to get back to me cos I needed to ask him something. He got back to me after a few hours but I decided I really didnt wanna know so I didnt take his calls. He kept calling repeatedly and I finally took his call the next day. I told him I'd wanted to get some info from his office (nose growing) but I'd already gotten it from somewhere else. We went on to gist like nothing ever happened - him telling me about his work pressures etc etc. It was a week to the wedding. He didnt tell me about it and I didnt indicate I knew.
Then about 3 days ago, he called. Told me it took him all the bravery in the world to initiate the call. Went into a long speech about me being the one person in the world he owes everything - explanation, respect, regard bla bla and then went on to say "I'm getting married". Oh well, I'd known for a week now so there was no jolt. After he told me who he was getting married to, I proceeded to ask the question Id been dying to ask - "Why her??"
And he goes "I dont know. I'm still in shock. I'm surprised. I'm confused"
And I go "ooooookaaaaaayyyyy and you are telling me this because??"
Him: "You are my best friend. You are the only one in the world who always has my back. I see you as my guardian angel. You are one person in the world who always tells me the truth no matter what. I still had your name as my password up until today. Bla bla bla"
And I'm rolling my eyes thinking: Now what?! There's a never-ending supply of drama with this guy.
Me: Is she pregnant?
Him: That's the first question everybody asks. No she isn't
Me: Abi she don jazz you...?
Him: Silence. All I feel is surprise. Maybe when I say "I do" it'll finally sink in
Him: Where are you? I need to see you
Me: I'm not in town (thank God). I moved to Abuja (because I had to run away from the madness we called our love, our seamless love)
Him: I really need to see you
Me: So that we'll start kissing abi? And then what? You'll call off your wedding? You know how me and you are - like two naked wires.
Him: Can you please attend the wedding?
Me: Are you for real?? (was tempted to say stupid). Sorry, I can't.
Him: Please just do it for me, it'll help me start the healing process (Imagine the nerve sha, chei, I don suffer)
Me: Sorry I cant. (Trying with all my might not to launch into a fierce verbal attack)
Him: It's funny, I'm getting married but I still love you. I'll always love you
Me: Do you love her?
Me: Yes or No
Him: Kinda. But I know I'll never love anyone half as much as I love you
(Very plenty talk talk, cant even type half of it)
Nna na wa o! Before my lonnnnng conversation with him, I was feeling pretty okay about the whole wedding thing. But after that, I couldnt stop thinking about it and just feeling sorry for him. What I feel is just pity, actually. Kai. How does life turn out so funny that the gr8est love of my life goes and marries sm1 else. I havent even been able to really like any1, not to talk of date. And he's getting married. Na wa sha. I guess I was just drinking panadol for another man's headache. A man I was willing to do anything and go anywhere for. Anyway..."was" being the operative word.
Anyway, I had the date emboldened in my head - 29th January. But surprisingly, I slept well last night, infact too well sef. I woke up feeling okay and I even forgot about it till later. Thought about it a bit and wondered if he'd said "I do". Half expected sm1 to call and say he didnt show up for the wedding or said "I cant" instead of "I do". I'm not paranoid, but it really is something he can do. He's weird like that. Igot about three "I-cant-believe-he-married-her-calls" and my response was "Well, he did".Today ended up being a pretty normal Saturday for me. I had a noice, long nap. Cleaned the kitchen with all my heart and soul. Finished Season 6 of Grey's Anatomy. Swore that if Derek died, I'd stop watching. And I meant it.
And now, I'm sitting here blogging. And I'm happy...Strange. In a calm way, I'm happy. And I have peace....