Thursday, December 16, 2010

Cheating & Blackberry

Cheating and blackberry. Or blackberry and cheating. I wonder which one sounds better. Anyway!

I was having one of my sleepless nights yesterday when my friend came out of his room at about 2am, panting like someone they were pursuing. And then he says, almost out of breath, "please I need to talk with you urgently". Na so I follow am enter my room and he shut the door for effect (there were other people awake in the sitting room).

At this point ehn, I couldnt wait to hear the gist. My ears were standing like mad. Finally, after plenty heavy breathing and sorrowful glances, he told me he'd just discovered his Nnwanem was cheating on him. I don't even know what Nnwanem means but thats what I call her cos she's Igbo.

And I go "o-o-okay! And you know this because?"

He went on to tell me how he had just "investigated" her blackberry while she was asleep. His motive was that she had been acting funny recently and being overly protective of her phone even when he wasnt interested in the contents.

For effect, he went back into the room, got her blackberry and showed me the shocking things he'd found. Even me sef, as I read am, my eyes became wide with surprise, my mouth was open and I had tears in my eyes. I really like(d) the girl, so I was/still am heartbroken.

She had a constant flow of communication with a guy who had just come back to 9ja and there were details of her going over to visit him in Lagos this weekend. Meanwhile, she had lied to her bobo that she needed to go submit some documents bla bla. They generally just had some pretty intimate conversations.


There was another guy who she had been chatting with on BBM.

Guy B: Do you enjoy kissing me? (and some other kiss related talks that I dont remember)
Her: Yes
Guy: How would you rate me on a scale of 1 to 10 (me, still thinking say na kiss dem dey talk about)
Her: 6
Guy: Did you have an Oh gee (and I'm wondering, is that a new ice cream flavour or smthn)
Her: Huh?
Guy: Did you have an orgasm (at this point, my eyes bcame so wide, I thot they wld pop out)
Her: Yes! (duh? If she really did, wld you need to ask her hours later, dumb guys! that's bdw)
Guy: I hope you didnt forget to take the pills? (at this point, my heart just broke into a million pieces)

She was just not cheating. She was cheating and intending to cheat with random people. She was just not having sex with other people, she was doing so without protection. If I hadn't seen these messages korokoro, I might not have believed.

This is a girl that has been forming church church. They started attending foundation classes together in church. She sleeps over almost everyday and she suggested they do morning devotion together. She'd even suggested to my friend that they start practicing abstitence and he shockingly obliged her because he genuinely liked her. Hell, he just stole her ring from her sister to get her finger size! My guy has been telling me how he can't wait to marry her and all. This is a bad guys who decided to mellow down for one woman. We live in the same house and I can vouch that he's been sincere with this lady.

And she had to go and break our hearts. Everyday, I see one more reason to be cynical. Why are human beings so untrustworthy. Why? Why can't people just be sincere?? Too many lies. Too much falsehood. Too much pretence. My friend was visibly shaking and he couldnt sleep for the rest of the night. I advised him not to wake her up nor talk about it just yet. Even me, I lay on my bed just going over everything, and I was just sad. I'm still sad. He wants me to say something, I'm short of words.

He still hasn't confronted her....can't wait for when he does...

I have a low tolerance for infidelity. And sadly, I'm so gender biased that my tolerance is even lower for women. It's not logical, I cant explain it but that's just the way I'm wired. I can stand a cheating man more than I can a cheating woman. I believe women are a stronger set of people, I believe we have been given more responsibility to uphold certain values, to show the men the right way when they are deviating...So it breaks my heart each time I see a woman deviating....

I'm not trying to be judgemental or anything. I'm just expressing my sadness. In as much as I am cynical, I also have my optimistic nature lurking somewhere. It's contradictory but na so I dey. Each time I see one more reason not to trust people, my heart sinks.

And this blackberry sef. I think it has more cons than pros. Half of the things people yap about on it are total rubbish. Just my opinion tho....


  1. Ur friend should change his name to 'Oriyomi'. He almost entered 1-chance. Women sha! Wetin una want?

  2. What does Oriyomi mean?

    Men too sha! I guess your question applies both ways