I cried yesterday. Twice.
I woke up in the morning and the first thing I did was check result of an exam I'd written in December. I was a bit nervous and had even dreamt about it that night. I quickly logged via my phone and the word "Pass" had NEVER looked so good.
I jumped and cried and yelled "Thank You Jesus". i had asked Him for a Pre-Valentine/Valentine gift and He gave it to me, as always. It was THE perfect gift :-)
Sometime during the day, I got a call from a friend and she told me "My dear, bad news...XXX has passed on". I held the phone to my ear in SHOCK and had huge balls of tears in my eyes. I could not believe it.
Last time I'd seen her was in December, just before Xmas when I'd gone to their office to say hi. She was one of the sweetest human beings ever and just had a smile that could cheer just about anybody up. She couldn't have been more than 30.
She had gotten pregnant, after years of trying to conceive with her husband....and she had a miscarriage last saturday, lost too much blood....and that was it...she was gone. She is gone. Just like that. As I type this, I have a picture of her smiling and eating an apple stuck in my head. I can't get over it.
This life is too fragile. It's too easy for us to take each day we're alive for granted. It's too easy to get overwhelmed by challenges life constantly hurls our way. So easy that we lose track of how PRECIOUS life is.
And once again, I'm faced with these unanswered questions - Why do bad things happen to good people?
She was a devout Christian. Hardcore born again. Thread-plaiting, no make up, deeper life-attending young woman. No, those are not the things that really define our spirituality. But that's what sort of person she was. And beyond that, she was a GOOD person with a GOOD heart.
All i can feel is sadness and the last hug we shared.
All I can see is her smiling face, eating a green apple.
No, don't tell me. I guess we'll never know.
I came across a few words yesterday that touched my heart and I'll share:
"I can’t in good conscience promise that God will make the sun stand still every time you walk in audacious faith. Your faith does not control God—in fact, human faith on any scale can never put divine providence in your back pocket. That means that, sometimes, people you love will get sick and they won’t recover. You won’t achieve everything you attempt. You’ll have to absorb and manage some pain you didn’t create or invite or deserve. You’ll have days filled with frustration and misery.
Audacious faith does not guarantee a crisis-free life. But audacious faith does enable you to seize the opportunity to see God’s glory in the midst of every crisis in your life.
Even when—and maybe especially when—the sun goes down -- Steve Furtick"