Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Convo With Mummy

Mum: How are you naw, howz work and how are your exams coming along?

Me: Fine oh, thank God!

Mum: Your birthday is on Thursday oh

Me: Oh jeez, thank you for reminding me. This is proof that you did not thief me from the hospital

Us: Laughter

Mum: Hmmm....you are getting old oh!

Me: Yes I know. Me sef, I am feeling old for the 1st time

Mum: And me sef I am feeling older. Pls hurry up abeg, I cannot wait

Me: Mummy take it easy naw. Afterall there are people who dont get married till they are 30yrs

Mum: God forbid! See what you are saying with your own mouth. Don't you know that words are very powerful. I cancel it in Jesus name!

Me: Amen

Mum: Please hurry up abeg, time is going..

Me: Yes ma. But I have to see the husband 1st naw

Mum: Are you looking for husband.

Me: Ehen naw, seriously sef.

Mum: Please dont look too hard abeg. Just select one. You are not in heaven.

Me: What has heaven got to do with this talk?

Mum: You are not in heaven so stop looking for a perfect man. It is only in heaven that you'll see angels

Me: Laughing uncontrollably

Mum: It is not a laughing matter oh!

Me: Ok mummy, no wahala. I will try not to look too hard

Mum: Ok naw. Take care

Mehn, how time flies. I cannot believe I just had the above conversation with my mother. This is the same woman that would not allow boys visit me at home when I was growing up. Even girls sef. If you so much as rubbed vaseline on your lips, she would pronounce you a "bad influence".

I remember once when "Hipstars" was reigning. My father bought hipstars for me and coincidentally, one mumu boy came to my house the next day to look for me. For no reason. After that, my mother was so furious, she decided it was because of the hipstars that's why boys were now beginning to have interest in me. Na so she ban me from wearing trousers. No joke. I was about 14yrs. I didnt wear trousers till I was in my 2nd year in the University.

So when I eventually had a boyfriend, it was hard for me to talk to my mum about man issues. The topic was almost sacred in my household. Until last year, when I was 23, that was when she started deciding I had won "man privileges". Now, I no dey hear word again. How ironic.

For her sake, I hope I marry sometime in this century. For her sake. And for the sake of my phone battery - so she doesn't run it down talking about the issue..



  1. let me echo..........get your self a MANNNNNNNNNNN,stop looking for Mr. Perfect, but get Mr. Right. Shikena!

  2. Hehe....what's the name of the supermarket where I can get one..?

  3. lol i have a different form of that convo any time my mums rings me.same thing,different tactics every time...mothers will always be like that..its funny though!

  4. lol this got me cracking up even though i am a guy i just got the same convo like a week ago at my junio sister's wedding my mum was even suggesting i catch the bouquet i was zoo embarrassed lol

  5. Lara it's funny now abi? After a while, it'll stop being funny.

    A man catching a bouquet? Now that's a first! Lol