The Evil that Men Do...

The other day, I got the BB broadcast message below:

"Gangs are placing a baby car seat by the road, with a fake baby in it, waiting for a woman (of course) to stop and check on the abandoned baby. Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person (usually women) will be dragged into the woods, beaten, gang-raped and usually left dead.

If it's a man, they're usually beaten, robbed and maybe left dead too.

DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON. DIAL 767 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN.

If you are driving at night and eggs are thrown at your windscreen, do not stop to check the car. Do not operate the wiper and do not spray any water because eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5% AND you are forced to stop beside the road and become a victim of these criminals.

Sometimes, they pretend to be accident victims and will prove you wrong the moment you get close enough to assist

These are all new techniques used by gangs. These are desperate times and there are unsavoury individuals who will take desperate measures to get what they want. Please pass this round to your loved ones"

I dialled 767 sha and the number doesn't exist.
2ndly, which statistician came up with the 92.5% figure?
3rdly, I don't know if these techniques are being practiced in Nigeria yet but it IS very possible.

I am usually wary of BB broadcast as a lot of them are filled with lies but I'm sure this one has plenty elements of truth in it. These days, the part of the Bible that says "the heart of man is DESPERATELY wicked" has become truer than ever! We hear all sorts of stories everyday of people committing various atrocities and I wonder if it was the same God that created those same people who commit unspeakable acts.

I feel so sad that I have become so wary of people. I feel molested. I feel like my innocence has been taken from me. It has been taken away, actually. I can hardly see a stranger and offer to help. Because you do not know who has lay a trap somewhere and who hasn't.

The kids on the street begging for alms, I hear they "submit" all the money they get to their master (usually an Alhaji). So these days, in traffic, I don't look at anybody's face.

The other day, one guy stopped me on the road begging me for money to buy medication, he even showed me a prescription supposedly written by a doctor. He told me his brother was sick and in the hospital and how he sold his phone to buy drugs. The amount he asked for was paltry (about N900 or so). I acknowledged that he might be lying and also acknowledged that it might be true. And in my opinion, N900 wasn't so much. After I gave him, I was warned to run away from such people because they could "charm" you into giving them everything you have. I never believed this charm story till it happened to someone close to me. She went into her mother's house and gave them ALL EXPENSIVE JEWELRY. Very long story.

The worst set are the "mothers with children". I always used to feel sorry for these ones and give them money. That was until I heard the story of how they rent babies to garner public sympathy!

After that, I quit! These people on the streets, you just never know. If I wanna help, I'd rather look for more deserving and "credible" recipients!

Who Is Fooling Who?!

Sometimes, I see certain News headlines that just make me cringe and make my intestines recoil with/from rage. Some make me sad. Some make me laugh. Some leave me puzzled.

Item #1:
JAMB yesterday said it'll expend over N2bn in constructing prototype offices in the 36 states of the federation at the cost of N56m each.

Now tell me, how many secondary schools in Nigeria have a value of N56m or even half or quarter that amount? How many schools have a 10% value of that amount? No answers required.

This is the same JAMB that under admits students into poor quality schools who can't find jobs after graduation.

Item #2:
Akwa-Ibom teachers have decided to embark on strike following the alleged refusal of the state govt to pay their two months salary arrears.

Assuming there are 200 teachers in Akwa-Ibom state earning N50,000 monthly, that'll be N10m monthly.  And we all know there can't be 200 teachers earning 50k. I'm jst doin best case scenario. Using best case, the govt would need N50m to pay 200 teachers in almost 6months. And that's the same amount being approved for "prototype Jamb offices". What will happen to the already existing ones? Putting the cart before the horse, taking out the tryres from the cart and feeding them to the horses till they die of poisoning  is what our Govt is good at.

Item #3:
Sale of pubic Albino Hairs booms in Delta State. It is used for Jazz/Juju because albino hair is supposedly effective for love charm

Ewwwww!! Seriously! Lord have mercy!

Item #4:
"Nigerians spend an estimated N93.9bn monthly to buy airtime or recharge cards for their mobile phones and other mobile devices"

All I can do is wonder what percentage of my money makes up that figure!

Item #5:
"Over 300 ex-militants yesterday blocked parts of Oron-Eket road in Urue Offong of Akwa Ibom in protest over non-payment of their allowances"

Why should the Govt be responsible for the upkeep of able bodied men cum criminals? I don't just gerrit. Isn't it a wiser option to provide jobs for these men and pay them salaries instead of allowances. That way, unemployment/crime rate is reduced, these criminals get some sense of of responsibility that comes with having a job, the economy is further strengthened by job creation, disruption of economic activities by these "militants" is reduced, and most of all, they provide services to the public. Dashing them money does absolutely nothing. it's only a temporary solution to a permanent problem

Item #6:
War Against War Against Boko Haram: To protect the presidential villa and its environs, President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has approved the sum of N5billion for the purchase of robotic bomb detectors for Aso Rock.

Need I say more? There are two issues here - the fact that it's 5billion and that they're taking extra steps to protect themselves without doing the same for the rest of us. Except you consider the CCTV cameras mounted everywhere within the Abuja metropolis which shows your face but doesn't help them locate you or where you live if the need arises. Sigh


Now, just heard that a mosque was bombed in Sapele by ex-Mend militants on the basis that Boko Haram has been killing their "southern brothers" in the North. Seriously? This can only worsen things for everybody! The most csualties in this Boko Haram madness have been northerners. Besides, so much for brotherhood, how many of them actually act "brotherly" in their home state?! Mschw

Who is fooling who???

Lagos Slave vs Abuja Princess

Jesus! I finally get to post something! Seems like I've been haunted for the past one week by Internet devils. Firstly,I wasn't able to use my phone browser for reasons only Etisalat understands. And then, my office Internet went crazy, I'm convinced it requires some form of excorcism! And now my BIS has kuku expired, so has my Starcomms subscription. Despite my very many Internet sources, I have been rendered internetless :-(

Bitter sweet? Thank God for this iPad that I haff borrow to post this.

Now that I finally have reasonably reliable access, I have lost the urge to say anything....but I will force myself to talk. I cannot waste this RARE *internet opportunity*

On to the highlight of my week - I got a job offer. It was like magic. I hadn't even officially asked God for another job. All I did was say it offhandedly and vavavoom, it came to me. The job offers DOUBLE what I currently earn and comes with a "motor car". A normal human being may jump at the offer instantly. More money! 100% more money! Not me.

As tempting as more money sounds (with my rent 3 months away), I have to be logical about this matter.

Firstly, it's totally different from anything I do or have ever done. Totally different line of work. 2ndly and MAJORLY, it's in LAGOS! That mad place. Whilst my one year NYSC stint in Lagos wasn't so bad, I don't think I can do it again after experiencing the sweetness and serenity in Abuja.

And the stress of having to move. Again! Na me waka pass?

I just realized I'm still undecided about the matter. My job in Abuja is mad flexible. I don't have a strict 9-5 routine, I have time that only an entrepreneur can dream of having. My office is 3mins away from my house. It's almost like heaven....except errrr it gets boring...for a restless person like me. I like to get constantly challenged mentally. This job doesn't give me that. What it gives is a steady salary and time.

New job will give MORE money and enough challenges to drive me mad. But. It's Lagos...I will instantly become a SLAVE.

I love Abuja. But Lagos will give me money.

Sigh. For love or money????!!!

My Landlord & I

Jesus oh! I cannot believe I have not written anything in the past three months! This is the highest height of laziness!

In related news, I just realised that it's been a year (give or take) now since I started blogging. This year really has gone by so fast for some crazy reason.

Nothing major has happened to me in the last three months..except oh! I finally joined the blackberry train (I was forced into it) courtesy of my office. Infact I blame BBM for my long absence from blogger. Evil thing :-)   :-(

So it's 6.30pm friday evening and I got so bored at home that I came back to the office. Who does that?

Ok, lemme not lie. It's not just boredom sha. But I cannot disclose the major reason *sticking tongue out*

Another reason I could not stay at home was because of my landlord. Hmm. Where do I begin?

In my desperation to get a house earlier this year, I sha just moved into the best available house I could find at that time. After moving in, I realised the place is a mini major commercial centre.

It's a two-storey building with a gazillion tenants living in it. No, I'm not exaggerating, I swear.  On the ground floor, there is one hair dressing salon (not bad for me and my lazy self), there is also a restaurant
(I do not eat there) AND there is a beer parlour! I do not drink beer!

When I wanted to get the house, it was afternoon all the times I went there so I didn't notice the "commerciality" of the place. Besides, even f I did, I'm not sure I would have minded considering how hard it is to get a house in Abuja and considering that it was right in the MIDDLE of town.

After moving in, my eyes opened to the reality of my situation. I made a few complaints and suggested that they at least put a (wooden) barricade between their beer place and the residential place. I feel assaulted every time I walk past on my way up to my house. They looked at me as if I was speaking chinese.

As it is with humans, nay, me, I somehow adapted to the madness. And my window is just by the drinking spot. But in the past one month, things have grown from bad to worstest. They have added a mini-bar to the beer parlour and now once it's 5pm, P-square comes on in the highest possible volume. And I think the music has also attracted more people and now the noise that comes in though my window is unbelievable.

The kind of people who come there are the ones who scream when supposedly conversing. And to make matters worse, there is no toilet built for this drinkers so they end up urinating on the wall outside the gate. The accumulated urine stench is unbelievable.

To make matters worse, my dad was in town for a couple of days this week and wanted to come see my house. The only time he was free was at night and I practically shooed him away just so he doesn't get all paranoid because of my environment. I made him come early in the morning instead, imagine!

The annoying part is that I paid A LOT OF MONEY for this "house". Even I still don't believe I coughed out that much for a house, talkless of this crap.

I just sha think it's very unfair. We are forced to pay so much money and yet treated like we have no say in our own house. And oh, the Landlord also lives in a flat downstairs. I keep complaining about the noise and I am told that I am not in Jand where they have noise control services.

Nigeria should pass a Noise Control Act or something. I sha know there is something called Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB). I am thinking of reporting my landlord to them oh..............I mean, it is only fair abi? But then, I hear it's this same AEPB that goes around Abuja arresting young women on false accusations of prostitution.

What if I go to their office and they lock me up for prostitution *bbm confused face*


I just checked google and there is even an agency in 9ja, It's called Agency For The Control Of Noise Pollution (ACNP). Sounds like a political parry, lol. And oh my God, I found an article about them and this is what their priority is:   http://www.wazobiareport.com/reports/Noise-control-agency-moves-to-ban-use-of-unnecessary-words

I can't shout.

I feel like this post is gerring too long, sorry oh..it's the boredom. It's gerring dark.....lemme walk back home. A lonnnnng, dry, boring weekend awaits me. I just hope Nepa is kind enough not to make it worse! If not, I just might spend it in this office!

Nigeria: A Cashless Society?

One thing about us - we like to copy! And the newest thing in Nigeria is this lofty dream of making it a cashless society. Yes, I said lofty. Sue me!

Sure, living in a cashless society does have its perks. But I honestly do not think Nigerians are ready or equipped for the technicalities that come with it.

Uncle Sanusi, how far na?

Last I checked, Nigeria and America no dey the same level.

For starters, they have steady electricity and access to the internet. Transiting from a cash-based society to a cashless one means falling back on technology. It means human capital will be replaced with machines. Most, if not all machines require to use of electricity. Nigeria is nowhere near having steady electricity so wouldn't this be a case of putting the cart before the horse?

I read that some 300 Zenith Bank IT staff were sacked yesterday and the next set on the chopping board will be the bulk counters. Reason is, when we transit to a cashless society, we would no longer have need for those whose jobs are to count money.

For a country with a staggering rate of unemployment, it only gets worse.

From December 2011, CBN has mandated that it will restrict individual withdrawals to N150,000. Anybody who withdraws above the said amount will be charged N100 for every 1,000 exceeded by the limit. Seriously?! It is now a crime to withdraw your own money.

I read a Thisday columnist complain about her bank charging her because she gave someone a cheque for N50,000 and their justification was that she could have done an internet transfer instead. They conveniently assumed she had access to the internet and access to electricity for that matter.

As we speak, there are still villages in Nigeria that have no access to electricity. There are people who have never even seen a computer before talkless of knowing what the internet is.

What will happen is people will now start keeping large sums of money under their beds and armed robber will get enough motivation to remain in their trade.

Ordinary ATM that we use has caused enough wahala with lack of appropriate security measures employed by these banks. This new cashless society theory will be sure to see more yahoo boys repeatedly smiling to the banks.

Imagine doing something as simple as withdrawing cash from the ATM and having your bank debit your account twice and in some cases, not even dispensing cash at all. I remember when I wanted to pay my rent. The lawyer refused to accept a cheque for some odd reason. So i was left with the option of paying cash - I had to get some cash from the ATM to add to what I had already. I was about to make the last withdrawal of N20,000 and the cash wasn't dispensed yet I got a debit alert instantly.

I almost went crazy because I was working with a timeline - if I didn't pay for the house that day, someone else could take it and the lawyer was already waiting for me. I became almost frantic. I went into the bank whose ATM I had used and the Customer Service person looked at me sympathetically and said there was nothing he could do and instructed me to go clarify the issue with my bank

I got to my bank and they told me it could take up to 10 working days!!! 10days!! Why do I have to wait  2 weeks for an error caused by them. I was almost livid. I had to run around like a mad woman looking for where to borrow 20k because I had no other money.

This has happened to me more than once and I know a million people that have gone through similar situations. It's funny but I am beginning to suspect these banks do this deliberately.

Imagine if 100,000 Nigerians suffer this same thing everyday. And let's assume the amount is N20,000.

100,000 Nigerians X 20,000 = 2 billion Naira

And in most cases, they end up not giving you back your cash till 10 working days elapse.

Imagine what a bank can do with 2 billion Naira in 2 weeks. They could trade with that money and make insane interests in 2 weeks.

After they "borrow" 2 billion Naira from unsuspecting Nigerians, they give it back to us with 0% and we are supposed to go home smiling. Go and try to borrow money from your bank and hear the mad interest rates they'll give you.

So this issue of islamic banking (non-interest lending) didn't just crop up. They've been practicing it with unsuspecting customers since the beginning of time. Greedy people.

Mr Sanusi should know this though: Becoming a supposedly cashless society isn't going to make Nigeria one of the 20 most developed nations in the world as is his aim. Not even close.

God Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow road many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you


Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true


That God bless the broken road
That led me straight to you


I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that's coming true

I love love love this song by Rascal Flatts. I keep rehearsing with it for the day it'll finally be true for me. Yeah, you could call it a "faith song" perhaps.

The writer of this song talks about how every heart break he ever had led him to his true love.

For me though, this song has a deeper  meaning and goes beyond heartbreak and love.

The Broken Road signifies a place of wilderness. It is a place where everything seems to be going wrong. It is a place of sickness, poverty, frustration, sin, unemployment, dissatisfaction with life etc etc.

The Broken Road is not a nice road to go through. It is filled with rough bumps and potholes as big as gullies. It is never a smooth ride on the Broken Road. The bumps on this road keep tossing you back and forth, left and right. And if you are like me who gets car sick sometimes, this road will be your biggest nightmare.

When you are on the this road, the word 'temptation' comes alive in its full dimension. Ever wondered why satan always appears when we are at our weakest? When Jesus went up to the wilderness to fast for 40 days and nights, that was when satan decided he was best for him to be tempted. Because he knew Jesus was fasting and hadn't eaten food, he decided to capitalize on that by tempting him to turn stones to bread.

And he hasn't stopped since then. He's still very much in the business of tempting God's children. And guess when the idiot shows up? When we are at our weakest - when bumps and potholes are bouncing us up and down, left and right, sideways and upside down.

But the Broken Road is also a place of brokenness - it breaks you to the point where you can't help but cry out to God to change your situation. And when you get to that point where you are broken before God, that's where healing and restoration begins. That's where miracles happen.

Remember the woman with the issue of blood? She had been suffering in her own pool of blood for 12 years. 12 years no be beans. I have spent 2 weeks in the hospital before and it felt like eternity. Imagine being sick for 12 whole years! He blood was her Broken Road. And then one day, she heard Jesus was passing through and I guess she had reached her limit by then, she had gotten to the point where she could not bare it any more - the point of brokenness. And she said to herself "Omo, today this thing go end!" And through the crowd, despite the near impossibility, she touched the hem of His garment.

You see, this woman was desperate for a healing. She was broken. And this propelled her to get her miracle. And we know the rest.

God has been so faithful to me in 2011. I have a lot going for me this year that I could never have fathomed will happen to me a year ago. I moved to a town where I practically knew nobody and He just started blessing me in ways I never expected. Things that other people struggle years for, He gave them to me in a blink of an eye without any stress. The beautiful thing is, I was on the Broken Road last year. And my Broken Road has led me to my place of restoration.

I am not where I wanna be but mehn, I am so far ahead from where I used to be. I sit down and think back about all the pain I went through last year and I'm happy I went through all that pain. If I hadn't, I would still be living my life normally (not walking towards my purpose).

But thank God for His Grace! My Broken Road has led me to my place of purpose. It has led me to the REASON I was created. I haven't fully fulfilled that purpose yet. But I have started. And I couldn't be any happier. I can't stop being grateful to my God - The Restorer of Broken Roads.

God Won't Clean Our Airports!

So the other weekend, I had to take a short trip home to see my mama and dada. I get to the ticket counter and I'm informed that I have to pay an extra thousand naira without explaining to me why. And the very rude "counter man" rudely told me it wasn't compulsory but he'd advise me to pay the fee. I asked him why I should pay when I do not know what I'm paying for.

I sha carried my bag and proceeded to enter the departure lounge. There comes this woman who says I can't get in till I pay for ***scrambled English I couldn't figure out**

And I asked aloud what **the thing** is and she says I should go back to my airline to get it without trying to explain what it is.

I go back to the airline I'm flying with and the counter man gave me a I-told-you-so look, very annoying! I just sha gave him the 1k because I was too tired and I obviously wasn't gonna get in without it.

It was a little ticket with "Passenger Service Charge" written on it. As was indicated, it was a FAAN (Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria) "initiative"! How the word "initiative" is grossly misused in Nigeria beats me.

I was sooooooooo angry! Surely, my anger was justified. With this silent anger, the screening lady tells me to take off my shoes before I pass through. I ordinarily wouldn't mind this except ermmm a thousand people before me just passed without even dropping their bags, having "settled" the screening lady!

Which kain country be this? That was all I kept asking myself. I grudgingly took off my shoes and the detector still beeped anyway. She wasn't even bothered. Some months ago, we took off belts, wristwatches, you name it and now, they really can't be bothered. Inconsistency really is our watchword in Nigeria.

And now, to the thing that REALLY made me ANGRY. So angry that, 2 weeks later, I'm still very irked about the issue. It was a Friday and the departure lounge was jammed with people waiting for their flights. At the point I was there, there were no less than 500 people in there. And this is me trying to be conservative with figures.

The accountant in me quickly did the Math - N1,000 X 500 people = N500,000

Obviously, over a thousand people had travelled from that airport on that day alone. But what I was concerned with was the people are I could currently see. At that point, FAAN was N500k richer and yet we were dying inside heat. I was afraid to yawn because I was scared cobwebs would fall inside my mouth. More than half the very dirty ceiling fans were not working. Ventilation was almost zero. In this day and age, ABUJA AIRPORT still uses louvres! Not just louvres but very very very dirty half-broken ones.

Let's not talk about the horrible toilets! No, God, no!!

By the way, why do all those airport female voices that make the announcements sound so annoying - like nails on a chalkboard? Just wondering.......

There were a handful of air-conditioning units and none were working. If this were Benin Airport, maybe I wouldn't have been so angry. And by the way, Benin has the worst airport I have ever seen in my entire life. I flew through there once and I almost thought I was in a dream...

Anyways, back to the airport in Nigeria's CAPITAL City - I looked around the airport and everybody seemed normal. Was I the only mad person here??

The sad thing about Nigeria is that ABNORMAL things have become the NORM. Doesn't that make us mad people? We see kids hawking pure water by 11am on a Monday morning and it's normal...

Now, 1k isn't too much money. But if FAAN makes up to a million naira everyday just from Abuja Airport, surely we should be entitled to clean toilets, air conditioning, or atleast fans that work.

This airport thing sha has me going mad. Someone in my office was talking about it today and my feelings of anger have been resurrected. Somebody, somewhere will just sit down and his or her office and devise a way to chop free money and we have no say in the matter. As if the air fares (which they increase per second) isn't high enough!

May God save us! But we can also make some small human effort(s) to save ourselves. As powerful as God is, He isn't gonna come down and build clean airports for us!