Monday, July 25, 2011

God Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow road many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you


Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true


That God bless the broken road
That led me straight to you


I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that's coming true

I love love love this song by Rascal Flatts. I keep rehearsing with it for the day it'll finally be true for me. Yeah, you could call it a "faith song" perhaps.

The writer of this song talks about how every heart break he ever had led him to his true love.

For me though, this song has a deeper  meaning and goes beyond heartbreak and love.

The Broken Road signifies a place of wilderness. It is a place where everything seems to be going wrong. It is a place of sickness, poverty, frustration, sin, unemployment, dissatisfaction with life etc etc.

The Broken Road is not a nice road to go through. It is filled with rough bumps and potholes as big as gullies. It is never a smooth ride on the Broken Road. The bumps on this road keep tossing you back and forth, left and right. And if you are like me who gets car sick sometimes, this road will be your biggest nightmare.

When you are on the this road, the word 'temptation' comes alive in its full dimension. Ever wondered why satan always appears when we are at our weakest? When Jesus went up to the wilderness to fast for 40 days and nights, that was when satan decided he was best for him to be tempted. Because he knew Jesus was fasting and hadn't eaten food, he decided to capitalize on that by tempting him to turn stones to bread.

And he hasn't stopped since then. He's still very much in the business of tempting God's children. And guess when the idiot shows up? When we are at our weakest - when bumps and potholes are bouncing us up and down, left and right, sideways and upside down.

But the Broken Road is also a place of brokenness - it breaks you to the point where you can't help but cry out to God to change your situation. And when you get to that point where you are broken before God, that's where healing and restoration begins. That's where miracles happen.

Remember the woman with the issue of blood? She had been suffering in her own pool of blood for 12 years. 12 years no be beans. I have spent 2 weeks in the hospital before and it felt like eternity. Imagine being sick for 12 whole years! He blood was her Broken Road. And then one day, she heard Jesus was passing through and I guess she had reached her limit by then, she had gotten to the point where she could not bare it any more - the point of brokenness. And she said to herself "Omo, today this thing go end!" And through the crowd, despite the near impossibility, she touched the hem of His garment.

You see, this woman was desperate for a healing. She was broken. And this propelled her to get her miracle. And we know the rest.

God has been so faithful to me in 2011. I have a lot going for me this year that I could never have fathomed will happen to me a year ago. I moved to a town where I practically knew nobody and He just started blessing me in ways I never expected. Things that other people struggle years for, He gave them to me in a blink of an eye without any stress. The beautiful thing is, I was on the Broken Road last year. And my Broken Road has led me to my place of restoration.

I am not where I wanna be but mehn, I am so far ahead from where I used to be. I sit down and think back about all the pain I went through last year and I'm happy I went through all that pain. If I hadn't, I would still be living my life normally (not walking towards my purpose).

But thank God for His Grace! My Broken Road has led me to my place of purpose. It has led me to the REASON I was created. I haven't fully fulfilled that purpose yet. But I have started. And I couldn't be any happier. I can't stop being grateful to my God - The Restorer of Broken Roads.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

God Won't Clean Our Airports!

So the other weekend, I had to take a short trip home to see my mama and dada. I get to the ticket counter and I'm informed that I have to pay an extra thousand naira without explaining to me why. And the very rude "counter man" rudely told me it wasn't compulsory but he'd advise me to pay the fee. I asked him why I should pay when I do not know what I'm paying for.

I sha carried my bag and proceeded to enter the departure lounge. There comes this woman who says I can't get in till I pay for ***scrambled English I couldn't figure out**

And I asked aloud what **the thing** is and she says I should go back to my airline to get it without trying to explain what it is.

I go back to the airline I'm flying with and the counter man gave me a I-told-you-so look, very annoying! I just sha gave him the 1k because I was too tired and I obviously wasn't gonna get in without it.

It was a little ticket with "Passenger Service Charge" written on it. As was indicated, it was a FAAN (Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria) "initiative"! How the word "initiative" is grossly misused in Nigeria beats me.

I was sooooooooo angry! Surely, my anger was justified. With this silent anger, the screening lady tells me to take off my shoes before I pass through. I ordinarily wouldn't mind this except ermmm a thousand people before me just passed without even dropping their bags, having "settled" the screening lady!

Which kain country be this? That was all I kept asking myself. I grudgingly took off my shoes and the detector still beeped anyway. She wasn't even bothered. Some months ago, we took off belts, wristwatches, you name it and now, they really can't be bothered. Inconsistency really is our watchword in Nigeria.

And now, to the thing that REALLY made me ANGRY. So angry that, 2 weeks later, I'm still very irked about the issue. It was a Friday and the departure lounge was jammed with people waiting for their flights. At the point I was there, there were no less than 500 people in there. And this is me trying to be conservative with figures.

The accountant in me quickly did the Math - N1,000 X 500 people = N500,000

Obviously, over a thousand people had travelled from that airport on that day alone. But what I was concerned with was the people are I could currently see. At that point, FAAN was N500k richer and yet we were dying inside heat. I was afraid to yawn because I was scared cobwebs would fall inside my mouth. More than half the very dirty ceiling fans were not working. Ventilation was almost zero. In this day and age, ABUJA AIRPORT still uses louvres! Not just louvres but very very very dirty half-broken ones.

Let's not talk about the horrible toilets! No, God, no!!

By the way, why do all those airport female voices that make the announcements sound so annoying - like nails on a chalkboard? Just wondering.......

There were a handful of air-conditioning units and none were working. If this were Benin Airport, maybe I wouldn't have been so angry. And by the way, Benin has the worst airport I have ever seen in my entire life. I flew through there once and I almost thought I was in a dream...

Anyways, back to the airport in Nigeria's CAPITAL City - I looked around the airport and everybody seemed normal. Was I the only mad person here??

The sad thing about Nigeria is that ABNORMAL things have become the NORM. Doesn't that make us mad people? We see kids hawking pure water by 11am on a Monday morning and it's normal...

Now, 1k isn't too much money. But if FAAN makes up to a million naira everyday just from Abuja Airport, surely we should be entitled to clean toilets, air conditioning, or atleast fans that work.

This airport thing sha has me going mad. Someone in my office was talking about it today and my feelings of anger have been resurrected. Somebody, somewhere will just sit down and his or her office and devise a way to chop free money and we have no say in the matter. As if the air fares (which they increase per second) isn't high enough!

May God save us! But we can also make some small human effort(s) to save ourselves. As powerful as God is, He isn't gonna come down and build clean airports for us!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Convo With Mummy

Mum: How are you naw, howz work and how are your exams coming along?

Me: Fine oh, thank God!

Mum: Your birthday is on Thursday oh

Me: Oh jeez, thank you for reminding me. This is proof that you did not thief me from the hospital

Us: Laughter

Mum: Hmmm....you are getting old oh!

Me: Yes I know. Me sef, I am feeling old for the 1st time

Mum: And me sef I am feeling older. Pls hurry up abeg, I cannot wait

Me: Mummy take it easy naw. Afterall there are people who dont get married till they are 30yrs

Mum: God forbid! See what you are saying with your own mouth. Don't you know that words are very powerful. I cancel it in Jesus name!

Me: Amen

Mum: Please hurry up abeg, time is going..

Me: Yes ma. But I have to see the husband 1st naw

Mum: Are you looking for husband.

Me: Ehen naw, seriously sef.

Mum: Please dont look too hard abeg. Just select one. You are not in heaven.

Me: What has heaven got to do with this talk?

Mum: You are not in heaven so stop looking for a perfect man. It is only in heaven that you'll see angels

Me: Laughing uncontrollably

Mum: It is not a laughing matter oh!

Me: Ok mummy, no wahala. I will try not to look too hard

Mum: Ok naw. Take care


Mehn, how time flies. I cannot believe I just had the above conversation with my mother. This is the same woman that would not allow boys visit me at home when I was growing up. Even girls sef. If you so much as rubbed vaseline on your lips, she would pronounce you a "bad influence".

I remember once when "Hipstars" was reigning. My father bought hipstars for me and coincidentally, one mumu boy came to my house the next day to look for me. For no reason. After that, my mother was so furious, she decided it was because of the hipstars that's why boys were now beginning to have interest in me. Na so she ban me from wearing trousers. No joke. I was about 14yrs. I didnt wear trousers till I was in my 2nd year in the University.

So when I eventually had a boyfriend, it was hard for me to talk to my mum about man issues. The topic was almost sacred in my household. Until last year, when I was 23, that was when she started deciding I had won "man privileges". Now, I no dey hear word again. How ironic.

For her sake, I hope I marry sometime in this century. For her sake. And for the sake of my phone battery - so she doesn't run it down talking about the issue..

Lol....

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Making It A Tad Easier....

There's this very efficient guy we have in my office. Officially, he's employed as a cleaner but....he ends up doing a lot of all the other menial stuff..

I call him efficient because he's always punctual, always ready to work, never grumbling, very humble...he just has a gentle soul and I'm drawn in by his gentle and calm nature......sometimes I wish I could be THAT gentle and calm......I think I may have been made to be that way originally but somehow, life has just made me (passive)aggressive....not my fault, really!

I have this habit of wondering about people. I wonder about what their story is and why they are where they are or the way they are. I guess I like the headache in some weird sorta way.

So, as expected, I've been wondering about this gentle boy called Ezra. In my head, he couldn't be anymore than 22. or highest, 24. And I wondered what unfair thing could have possibly happened to him for him to end up this way.

I decided to engage him in a chat and I found out he left secondary school in 2005 - 6 years ago!! My sister left secondary school in 2005 and she's a 5th year med student.

Apparently, after he graduated, he went to driving school, worked as a driver etc etc. But at some point, he fell ill and had to stop working. He also has 3 siblings whom he takes care of ie pays their school fees! By the way, his salary is N15,000. Two of his siblings fees are N7,000 each and the other is N8,000. So in a term, he has to pay fees of N22,000.

N22,000 is very little money to some people. There are people who spend 100k on a bottle of champagne without even blinking. That's even going too far. A MAC powder is about 8,000. Now, that's someone's school fees. And oh, I forgot Brazilian hair...I hear even the fake ones cost as much as 15k! Anyways, if I start with the comparisons, I no go finish today.

I also found out he's 27years - older than me with 3 or 4yrs. And here I am, being called "ma" by someone who's old enough to be my elder brother. Who am I?

But like they say, that's how life is - unfair.

I dont even know what I'm writing anymore sef. But I just feel pained that people have to suffer. Not like that changes anything. Even the Bible confirms that there'll always be poverty. But does that make it ok?

Even though we know suffering and poverty cannot be totally extinguished, in our own little way, we all can do something to make it just a tad easier for those people whom we are more privileged than...

...... my thoughts are not very co-ordinated today...I've been having Malaria-ish feelings....I don't know if it's stress (My exams start in 5days, Jesus!) or if it's Malaria. In 9ja, we are always quick to call every illness malaria....anyways........be back when my head is in order..

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Do Mad Men Dream?

I was walking on the road the other day and I saw a mad man fast asleep on  a Nepa pole. Well, not the pole itself but "the thing" that keeps the pole in place.

Anyways, a thought suddenly struck me and I wonder(ed) if mad men have dreams. What do they dream about? Do they have nightmares? In their dreams, are they sane or still insane?

When they wake up, do they remember these dreams?

It's very possible that mad men have dreams. They might even have a dream where the cure for cancer is discovered. Who knows? A mad man may have the answers to the world's biggest problems. But I guess we'll never know...

So, I decided to turn to the world's biggest ITK (I-too-know) that always has answers to even the silliest questions.

Enter www.google.com.

Trust google, while trying to find answers to a silly question, a million other silly related questions will pop up. I saw questions like: Do blind people have dreams? Do dogs have dreams? Apparently, there are plenty crase people in this world.

So I asked google if lunatics have dreams and I couldn't/have not been able to get a definite answer. Google don fall my hand. I guess I might just have to ask a psychiatrist. Or ask a mad man :-D

Or just wonder forever.


By the way, a big yaaaaayyy to one of the major highlights of this month - Manchester United winning the Premiership Title for the 19th time. Yaaaay! The smile on Uncle Alex's face is just priceless....

Looking forward to this Saturday with Barcelona when we'll hopefully win the Champions' League.

If When that happens, I just might tear dress and enter road :-D


And to my song of the week. It's by Brandi Carlile and is titled "Hiding My Heart Away".






Very apt.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Gaddemit!!

I have a crush on somborri....

Imagine.....

As old as I am......crushing like I'm in secondary school...

Maybe it's a little more than a crush...but then, I choose to call it a crush..bcos that's what it should be...

But this crush is getting crushier....bcos we kissed.....I had hoped the kiss would be terrible so the crush will die a natural death...

But gaddemit, it was sooooooog goood! Why!

Now, I'm sitting here at werk and I'm thinking of him......gadddemit!!

And smiling too, gaddemit!!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

May Is Here, Yayyy!!

Today is the first day of May and I feel great. The sermon preached by my pastor (Managing Your Finances) was awesome. According to him, sometimes what we need isn’t necessarily more money but how to manage the money we already have. He talked about most people (especially in Abuja) living beyond their means and living fake lives all in a bid to “impress”. He talked about girls who have three phones, make their (brazillian) hair on credit, buy clothes on credit and yet do not have money to pay their rent. He also talked about staying away from debt except unavoidable and how important it is to prioritise. It really was a great time in God’s presence. I haven’t paid my tithe this year. The first two months were beyond my control but what happened to March and April? For someone who is (was?) passionate about giving to God, I really am disappointed in myself. But thank God for His grace. He continues to bless me even in my foolishness. I am definitely gonna restart my tithe paying.

Apart from the awesome church service, I felt/feel great about this month. Some days ago, I already drew up a time-table of what my life is going to be like this month. It includes serious praying and fasting for the whole month, exercising atleast 30 minutes everyday, staying off carbohydrates (rice, garri and co), staying off red meat, staying off SHAWARMA (Oh God please help!), studying for my ACCA exams (a month away!) for a minimum of 6hrs everyday, sleeping for not more than 6hrs everyday, etc etc.

On my way back from church, I passed by an accident scene and all I could do was shout “Jesus!”. It wasn’t a nice sight. Two cars had collided, one of d cars hit a street light, it was so badly damaged I shudder to think of what could have happened to its occupants. It’s amazing how I had passed this same junction on my way to church just three hours ago. I said a silent prayer for the accident victims and hope no life was lost.

It’s very easy for us to slip into our different everyday routines and take for granted the grace and mercy that God doesn’t get tired of showering on us. Every trip in and out of my house is a miracle. It isn’t even something  that should be taken for granted, regardless of how little it may seem.

I stopped a few metres from my house to buy food (I’ve been too busy to cook, God help me!) and during my short waka back home, I saw a man eating out of bags that were obviously taken out of the dumpster. Yet there I was, holding a nicely cooked plate of beans and plantain. Why don’t I eat out of dumpsters? Am I too righteous? No! Am I too upright? No! It’s just by His never-failing Grace..

But then, I’m thinking, those who eat out of dumpsters, the people who were involved in that accident today, are they any less righteous? Any less deserving? The people who were recently killed by natural disasters in Japan and America, were they any less deserving than us here in Nigeria? I always fall back into these rhetorical questions..I wonder why. All in all sha, these things just make me appreciate God all the more and His Covering over my life despite my shortcomings and weaknesses..

On the flip side, my aproko side couldn’t help but notice the girl that sat next to me in church wore a pair of knee-high winter boots! As in!! Inside this hot Abuja sun where it’d be perfectly justifiable to tear out ur skin because of heat, some others choose to wear knee-high winter boots, sheesh! And there was a girl that sat behind me that said “Praise GAD” atleast 100 times…I was tempted to turn back and atleast look at her face! AND the one that I just don’t understand – there were a couple of people shouting “LUYAH” instead of “HALLELUIA”!

Maybe I’m just old skool, but someone saying luyah instead of Halleluia is just plain….(what’s the word??!) Is it part of the efizzi to sound cool or is it just plain laziness to pronounce words in full? Or maybe we should blame it on Blackberries that have facilitated the shortening of just about everything. Even “In Jesus Name” is now IJN. Smh. It might just be me being old fashioned but if every word should be abbreviated, no wahala but please please please, leave religion out of it…surely, that’s possible….

And I’m sad Manchester United lost the game today at this very critical period…dashing 3 points to that yeye Arsenal…I’m not happy…but I’m keeping hope alive…we can still win the Premiership this season, Amen!