It is totally shocking how life can just abruptly change and yet we are unaware of it.

I sit here at a few minutes past 1 am, exhausted and sleep-deprived as hell, yet I cannot sleep!

This is the same me who was dozing off this money right after drinking two cups of coffee!

The past two weeks have been crazy for me - I have been working my butt off to ensure the successful completion of two major projects.

I sit here in my living room, listening to random music, flipping through facebook and restless as hell! I have been horribly frustrated in the past week....

I have the weird feeling of doom and gloom. Oh yeah, I'm being dramatic..but am I really?

I feel grossly under-accomplished....yet I have ticked off 80% of my goals for 2016. Maybe I'm crazy?

No I am not. I am just a woman who is terribly frustrated by her husband right now. Normal, you say? Perhaps. Except that this is by no means a normal feeling.

I feel like I am in a dark hole...or maybe it's a drum...I'm not quite sure...but it definitely isn't a well as I am not drowning.....but I feel out of air, out of breath. I need oxygen. I need saving.

Maybe I should go back to God.?

Not like I left. But who am I kidding? I did leave. No concrete reason...I just got tired of pastors and double standards. Christians and their unchristianly behaviour. Yeah, who am I to judge? Bla bla

I'm not judging...I just got tired of being in what I thought was a deceptive bubble. Still think it is.

But what has that got to do with God? He has nothing to do with the deception of men.

I miss God. Is that a normal thing to say? I'm not quite sure.

Maybe I should go back to Him and He will save me from this horrible feeling of doom.

Maybe it isn't so bad....maybe this is the sleep deprivation talking...maybe I'm just making excuses.

Deep down, I know the doom is real.

Dang. Some of it definitely has to be sleep deprivation.

I miss writing. I used to enjoy writing so much. What happened to me? I feel like I'm slowly losing myself - losing my true essence. I shouldn't let that happen.

I worry too much - about everything and everyone. Not good. I'm gonna have to start letting my hair down and enjoying life.

I mean, I do enjoy life. I am generally a happy girl - contradictory to the gloom abi?

Maybe it's the sleep deprivation afterall. Maybe not.

I think I have a little crase in me that I have decided to express this night.

Truth is, I miss writing so much and I haven't done it in a while so my fingers have gotten a little too excited.

I just realised I posted last almost three years ago. Dang, girl! What do you do with all your time?!

My last post talked about my baby - she's a big girl now with established opinions on various subjects and she's also a big sister to her chop chop little brother.

They are my rainbow.

I hope I come back here soon, and more frequently. I promise to be more coherent.

Motherhood

Hello World.

It's 2014 and I did not even post one single hello all through 2013.

I'd like to blame it on motherhood. But should I?

Nna mehn. First of all, hats off to my mother who had five children and my grandmother who had 10 children!!! A super huge twale to them!

With only one child, I feel as though I am CONSTANTLY tired. Even when I'm asleep, I'm tired. LOL!

I had my first child 10 months and 16 days ago at 10.20pm on a Monday night. I remember thinking "this one wey I born on Monday night, it means my daughter will be a career, office-type woman". Buhahaha. I remember questioning my sanity shortly after that thought.

I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy and labour was equally uneventful, generally speaking.

However oh, to me sha, labour and delivery were dang painful! Shet!!!

While I was having contractions and all, my dad kept calling me to tell me not to be worried and how labour is soooo easy. Buhahaha. *Straight face*.

Dad: Don't worry, you'll be fine, You know, all the times you mummy gave birth, she just went in and out like she went to urinate.

Not even to shit. Urinate. Really, dad? You'd think he was the one that pushed all five of us out.

To be fair to him though, I do understand where his calmness was coming from. Being the first child, I'd like to think I saw my mother all through four pregnancies. And I can say for sure, I remember and was conscious for only three.

My mum did make it look so easy. Her third child was even born at home, right on the floor of the sitting room because before they could find a cab to take her to the hospital, she had already pushed the baby out. And I watched from the window. Almost 21 years after that, the picture (abi na video :D) is still firmly imprinted in my head.

I woke up that morning with some new type of pain and I knew it was going to happen that day. I woke my husband up, he bathed me and got me prepared..lol
Made sure I ate well well so I'll have enough power to push. but then I remembered that some women poop in the process of pushing but I was afraid to empty my bowels so I don't push my princess into the toilet.

Headed to the hospital with my hospital ngwongwo feeling like voltron ready to push. The matrons looked at me up and down and laughed. They said I definitely wasn't in labour because if I was, I won't be as cheerful and bubbly. Whaat?

Just to indulge me though, a doctor proceeded to check how far dilated I was and it was just a mere 3cm compared to the 10cm I needed to push. By the way, the method of measuring dilation is just way tooo crude. Infact, I think it was the worst part of my ordeal sef. They stick their whole fist (maybe I'm exaggerating, some fingers sha) far up into vagina. Wth? I didn't find it funny at all at all. Mschew

I was given the option of going back home or pacing around the hospital. I went back home, came back after a few hrs, they did the annoying dilation check again and it was just 4cm, I think. Dang!

I left again and went to Shoprite with my husband to by a vacuum cleaner because we figured our incoming princess didn't need a single dust in her princessy life. Infact we were both just crazy that day.
After shop rite, we stopped at the spare parts village to buy something for his car. We were generally just acting normal between bouts of increasing contractions though.

I went home and had another bath and headed to the hospital. Annoying dilation check again, arrgh. 6cm this time. I was told to take of my clothes, lay down on the bed and chill. It was all well and good till they hooked me up to a drip (oxytocin). And that was when the pain started. I thought i was gonna gooo crrraaazyyyyyy. Jesus. The pain was so much that I even fell asleep in between. I know that doesn't make any sense but hey!

But when the baba of all pain came, I knew it was time. I went wild. I saw myself yanking the drip and pushing the stand down. I remember even trying to bite somebody. Lol. And then I was told to push without stopping. I think I tried once and failed. And the matron said to me "Your baby's head is already almost out, If you don't push, she will die"

Ahhhhhhh. See push. I pushed till I was sure my intestines and entire digestive system will come out along with the baby. And there she was. My yellow baby.

I had been anticipating this moment for the past 8 months and I had thought I'd die from too much love and happiness. But truth is, I felt nothing. Just exhaustion. I was bloody tired.

But in the hours, days, weeks, months that have followed, the pure love, joy, happiness, contentment I feel just from this one little tiny girl CANNOT be put down in words.

She wears me out because she is just one of those baza queen babies who want their hands in everything, want to climb everything including the damn wall and I am constantly after her AND the worst part of it, she doesn't sleep through the night....hence my constant feeling of exhaustion.

But in actual fact, if I have to stay awake EVERY night for the rest of my life, if I don't have to sleep at all just for her, I will without batting an eyelid because this love I feel is special.

Forget man and woman love. This mother-child love is higher than cocaine. Lmao.

All thanks be to God who has seen us through till this point!! If not for Him, where would we be? :)

On 2012

The last time I posted anything was 10 months ago and I could not possibly have let 2012 end without saying something. Anything!

This year has gone by incredibly fast, as most years do. I'm still waiting for a year I can say took its time.

This time last year, I prayed to atleast manage to find a real boyfriend. Strangely, that prayer wasn't exactly answered. I was given a husband instead. As I type sef, I still haven't gotten used to the fact that I'm now somebody's wife and mother-to-be.

A lot of times when I have to fill in my name, I still use my maiden name....I wonder how long these things usually take. For me, being married does not make me feel any much different. I am still very much my regular self. I even forget to wear my ring sometimes :D

Things that have changed:

1) I live in a much nicer house with a real kitchen and wi-fi (yay! :D)
2) I now eat like an uber glutton (I'd like that blame that on the pregnancy hormones....oh God I hope I go back to being normal after I have my baby)
3) I no longer answer phone calls like I'm a customer service agent (all the toasters have disappeared..power of marriage, huh!)
4) I now cook regularly......gone are the days of indomie and quaker oats diets. *sigh* I now cook foods that involve pounding cocoyam in a mortar with a pestle. Me???????!!!!!

Between untraditional me and my traditional Igbo boo, I guess we both had to find a balance!

I really don't remember much that happened this year......most of it has just been a blur...I'm blaming the hormones again.....the only things I remember are this baby who kicks the shit out of me every minute and  getting married to a very unusual and great man whom I had known all along but had "friend-zoned" because well, I just felt we couldn't be anything other than friends.

I shudder to think I almost missed him standing right in front of my small nose! I guess i"ll have to dedicate a full post to him :)

I Have a feeling I'm not being very comprehensible right now....it's the hormones..

Seriously though, I'm one of those lucky people who have zero pregnancy issues (minus gluttony) and for that, I am grateful.

I am grateful for so much. I married my friend. I made more money this year than I ever have in my life. I've been healthy, so have my family. I've been blessed with great in-laws. I was blessed by so many people this year, I can't even count. It was also a challenging year in a lot of regards but His blessings far outweigh whatever challenges there might have been.

"Sometimes, the only blessing you need to count is your heart beat"

So it doesn't matter what you gained or lost this year, being alive is ENOUGH to thank God :)

As we go into 2013, I'm praying I'll cultivate a deep relationship with God. I'm praying for Nigeria and honestly in my heart yearn for it to be a better country.

God bless us all :)

13th February

I cried yesterday. Twice.

I woke up in the morning and the first thing I did was check result of an exam I'd written in December. I was a bit nervous and had even dreamt about it that night. I quickly logged via my phone and the word "Pass" had NEVER looked so good.

I jumped and cried and yelled "Thank You Jesus". i had asked Him for a Pre-Valentine/Valentine gift and He gave it to me, as always. It was THE perfect gift :-)

Sometime during the day, I got a call from a friend and she told me "My dear, bad news...XXX has passed on". I held the phone to my ear in SHOCK and had huge balls of tears in my eyes.  I could not believe it.

Last time I'd seen her was in December, just before Xmas when I'd gone to their office to say hi. She was one of the sweetest human beings ever and just had a smile that could cheer just about anybody up. She couldn't have been more than 30.

She had gotten pregnant, after years of trying to conceive with her husband....and she had a miscarriage last saturday, lost too much blood....and that was it...she was gone. She is gone. Just like that. As I type this, I have a picture of her smiling and eating an apple stuck in my head. I can't get over it.

This life is too fragile. It's too easy for us to take each day we're alive for granted. It's too easy to get overwhelmed by challenges life constantly hurls our way. So easy that we lose track of how PRECIOUS life is.

And once again, I'm faced with these unanswered questions - Why do bad things happen to good people?

She was a devout Christian. Hardcore born again. Thread-plaiting, no make up, deeper life-attending young woman. No, those are not the things that really define our spirituality. But that's what sort of person she was. And beyond that, she was a GOOD person with a GOOD heart.

All i can feel is sadness and the last hug we shared.

All I can see is her smiling face, eating a green apple.

Why?

No, don't tell me. I guess we'll never know.


I came across a few words yesterday that touched my heart and I'll share:

"I can’t in good conscience promise that God will make the sun stand still every time you walk in audacious faith. Your faith does not control God—in fact, human faith on any scale can never put divine providence in your back pocket. That means that, sometimes, people you love will get sick and they won’t recover. You won’t achieve everything you attempt. You’ll have to absorb and manage some pain you didn’t create or invite or deserve. You’ll have days filled with frustration and misery.

Audacious faith does not guarantee a crisis-free life. But audacious faith does enable you to seize the opportunity to see God’s glory in the midst of every crisis in your life.

Even when—and maybe especially when—the sun goes down -- Steve Furtick"

It's A New Year

2011 came and went by so fast. The last half of the year especially went by like a flash of lightening! At the beginning of 2011, I wrote down my goals for the year and by God's grace, I achieved almost everything. The only thing I didn't do was get a boyfriend/husband. I have given that one a special extension :-D

All in all, it was a very fulfilling year for me. A year of focus. A year devoid of emotional distractions, for the most part!

Spiritually though, I have to honestly confess that I went down the scale....thank God I have realised/identified that. That's the first step to making it better.

I thank God for the gift of life, for good health, for family, for friends, for favours that left me wide-eyed for months. Too much to thank Him for.

I spent Xmas and New Year with my family and took  3 days in between to attend a carnival. And I had sooooooo much fun! It was a good holiday, summarily.

Sometime in between my holiday, I ran into my ex-boyfriend. I hadn't seen him in over a year. We had a looooong discussion and I was all the happier for it. And all the while we were talking, I couldn't stop looking at him and wondering why l had loved him so much. And then it hit me - it was the way he loved me. There was something about the way he loved me. It was too special. Unfortunately, the love wasn't true because during the storms, a monster came out. I was happy to realise that I didn't love him anymore but that l'll always value what we had together and will always see it as a great lesson in love and life.

So, I'm back to my spinster's life. Hello Fuel Subsidy! You have been on my mind all week. The only times I didn't think of you, I was thinking of Boko Haram.

I have had so many discussions and arguments about the Govt's decision to remove fuel subsidy. Let me not start. I'll dedicate a full post to that.

Hello 2012, I pray you bring better days for Nigerians.

The Evil that Men Do...

The other day, I got the BB broadcast message below:

"Gangs are placing a baby car seat by the road, with a fake baby in it, waiting for a woman (of course) to stop and check on the abandoned baby. Note that the location of this car seat is usually beside a wooded or grassy (field) area and the person (usually women) will be dragged into the woods, beaten, gang-raped and usually left dead.

If it's a man, they're usually beaten, robbed and maybe left dead too.

DO NOT STOP FOR ANY REASON. DIAL 767 AND REPORT WHAT YOU SAW, BUT DON'T EVEN SLOW DOWN.

If you are driving at night and eggs are thrown at your windscreen, do not stop to check the car. Do not operate the wiper and do not spray any water because eggs mixed with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5% AND you are forced to stop beside the road and become a victim of these criminals.

Sometimes, they pretend to be accident victims and will prove you wrong the moment you get close enough to assist

These are all new techniques used by gangs. These are desperate times and there are unsavoury individuals who will take desperate measures to get what they want. Please pass this round to your loved ones"

I dialled 767 sha and the number doesn't exist.
2ndly, which statistician came up with the 92.5% figure?
3rdly, I don't know if these techniques are being practiced in Nigeria yet but it IS very possible.

I am usually wary of BB broadcast as a lot of them are filled with lies but I'm sure this one has plenty elements of truth in it. These days, the part of the Bible that says "the heart of man is DESPERATELY wicked" has become truer than ever! We hear all sorts of stories everyday of people committing various atrocities and I wonder if it was the same God that created those same people who commit unspeakable acts.

I feel so sad that I have become so wary of people. I feel molested. I feel like my innocence has been taken from me. It has been taken away, actually. I can hardly see a stranger and offer to help. Because you do not know who has lay a trap somewhere and who hasn't.

The kids on the street begging for alms, I hear they "submit" all the money they get to their master (usually an Alhaji). So these days, in traffic, I don't look at anybody's face.

The other day, one guy stopped me on the road begging me for money to buy medication, he even showed me a prescription supposedly written by a doctor. He told me his brother was sick and in the hospital and how he sold his phone to buy drugs. The amount he asked for was paltry (about N900 or so). I acknowledged that he might be lying and also acknowledged that it might be true. And in my opinion, N900 wasn't so much. After I gave him, I was warned to run away from such people because they could "charm" you into giving them everything you have. I never believed this charm story till it happened to someone close to me. She went into her mother's house and gave them ALL EXPENSIVE JEWELRY. Very long story.

The worst set are the "mothers with children". I always used to feel sorry for these ones and give them money. That was until I heard the story of how they rent babies to garner public sympathy!

After that, I quit! These people on the streets, you just never know. If I wanna help, I'd rather look for more deserving and "credible" recipients!

Who Is Fooling Who?!

Sometimes, I see certain News headlines that just make me cringe and make my intestines recoil with/from rage. Some make me sad. Some make me laugh. Some leave me puzzled.

Item #1:
JAMB yesterday said it'll expend over N2bn in constructing prototype offices in the 36 states of the federation at the cost of N56m each.

Now tell me, how many secondary schools in Nigeria have a value of N56m or even half or quarter that amount? How many schools have a 10% value of that amount? No answers required.

This is the same JAMB that under admits students into poor quality schools who can't find jobs after graduation.

Item #2:
Akwa-Ibom teachers have decided to embark on strike following the alleged refusal of the state govt to pay their two months salary arrears.

Assuming there are 200 teachers in Akwa-Ibom state earning N50,000 monthly, that'll be N10m monthly.  And we all know there can't be 200 teachers earning 50k. I'm jst doin best case scenario. Using best case, the govt would need N50m to pay 200 teachers in almost 6months. And that's the same amount being approved for "prototype Jamb offices". What will happen to the already existing ones? Putting the cart before the horse, taking out the tryres from the cart and feeding them to the horses till they die of poisoning  is what our Govt is good at.

Item #3:
Sale of pubic Albino Hairs booms in Delta State. It is used for Jazz/Juju because albino hair is supposedly effective for love charm

Ewwwww!! Seriously! Lord have mercy!

Item #4:
"Nigerians spend an estimated N93.9bn monthly to buy airtime or recharge cards for their mobile phones and other mobile devices"

All I can do is wonder what percentage of my money makes up that figure!

Item #5:
"Over 300 ex-militants yesterday blocked parts of Oron-Eket road in Urue Offong of Akwa Ibom in protest over non-payment of their allowances"

Why should the Govt be responsible for the upkeep of able bodied men cum criminals? I don't just gerrit. Isn't it a wiser option to provide jobs for these men and pay them salaries instead of allowances. That way, unemployment/crime rate is reduced, these criminals get some sense of of responsibility that comes with having a job, the economy is further strengthened by job creation, disruption of economic activities by these "militants" is reduced, and most of all, they provide services to the public. Dashing them money does absolutely nothing. it's only a temporary solution to a permanent problem

Item #6:
War Against War Against Boko Haram: To protect the presidential villa and its environs, President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan has approved the sum of N5billion for the purchase of robotic bomb detectors for Aso Rock.

Need I say more? There are two issues here - the fact that it's 5billion and that they're taking extra steps to protect themselves without doing the same for the rest of us. Except you consider the CCTV cameras mounted everywhere within the Abuja metropolis which shows your face but doesn't help them locate you or where you live if the need arises. Sigh


Now, just heard that a mosque was bombed in Sapele by ex-Mend militants on the basis that Boko Haram has been killing their "southern brothers" in the North. Seriously? This can only worsen things for everybody! The most csualties in this Boko Haram madness have been northerners. Besides, so much for brotherhood, how many of them actually act "brotherly" in their home state?! Mschw

Who is fooling who???

Lagos Slave vs Abuja Princess

Jesus! I finally get to post something! Seems like I've been haunted for the past one week by Internet devils. Firstly,I wasn't able to use my phone browser for reasons only Etisalat understands. And then, my office Internet went crazy, I'm convinced it requires some form of excorcism! And now my BIS has kuku expired, so has my Starcomms subscription. Despite my very many Internet sources, I have been rendered internetless :-(

Bitter sweet? Thank God for this iPad that I haff borrow to post this.

Now that I finally have reasonably reliable access, I have lost the urge to say anything....but I will force myself to talk. I cannot waste this RARE *internet opportunity*

On to the highlight of my week - I got a job offer. It was like magic. I hadn't even officially asked God for another job. All I did was say it offhandedly and vavavoom, it came to me. The job offers DOUBLE what I currently earn and comes with a "motor car". A normal human being may jump at the offer instantly. More money! 100% more money! Not me.

As tempting as more money sounds (with my rent 3 months away), I have to be logical about this matter.

Firstly, it's totally different from anything I do or have ever done. Totally different line of work. 2ndly and MAJORLY, it's in LAGOS! That mad place. Whilst my one year NYSC stint in Lagos wasn't so bad, I don't think I can do it again after experiencing the sweetness and serenity in Abuja.

And the stress of having to move. Again! Na me waka pass?

I just realized I'm still undecided about the matter. My job in Abuja is mad flexible. I don't have a strict 9-5 routine, I have time that only an entrepreneur can dream of having. My office is 3mins away from my house. It's almost like heaven....except errrr it gets boring...for a restless person like me. I like to get constantly challenged mentally. This job doesn't give me that. What it gives is a steady salary and time.

New job will give MORE money and enough challenges to drive me mad. But. It's Lagos...I will instantly become a SLAVE.

I love Abuja. But Lagos will give me money.

Sigh. For love or money????!!!

My Landlord & I

Jesus oh! I cannot believe I have not written anything in the past three months! This is the highest height of laziness!

In related news, I just realised that it's been a year (give or take) now since I started blogging. This year really has gone by so fast for some crazy reason.

Nothing major has happened to me in the last three months..except oh! I finally joined the blackberry train (I was forced into it) courtesy of my office. Infact I blame BBM for my long absence from blogger. Evil thing :-)   :-(

So it's 6.30pm friday evening and I got so bored at home that I came back to the office. Who does that?

Ok, lemme not lie. It's not just boredom sha. But I cannot disclose the major reason *sticking tongue out*

Another reason I could not stay at home was because of my landlord. Hmm. Where do I begin?

In my desperation to get a house earlier this year, I sha just moved into the best available house I could find at that time. After moving in, I realised the place is a mini major commercial centre.

It's a two-storey building with a gazillion tenants living in it. No, I'm not exaggerating, I swear.  On the ground floor, there is one hair dressing salon (not bad for me and my lazy self), there is also a restaurant
(I do not eat there) AND there is a beer parlour! I do not drink beer!

When I wanted to get the house, it was afternoon all the times I went there so I didn't notice the "commerciality" of the place. Besides, even f I did, I'm not sure I would have minded considering how hard it is to get a house in Abuja and considering that it was right in the MIDDLE of town.

After moving in, my eyes opened to the reality of my situation. I made a few complaints and suggested that they at least put a (wooden) barricade between their beer place and the residential place. I feel assaulted every time I walk past on my way up to my house. They looked at me as if I was speaking chinese.

As it is with humans, nay, me, I somehow adapted to the madness. And my window is just by the drinking spot. But in the past one month, things have grown from bad to worstest. They have added a mini-bar to the beer parlour and now once it's 5pm, P-square comes on in the highest possible volume. And I think the music has also attracted more people and now the noise that comes in though my window is unbelievable.

The kind of people who come there are the ones who scream when supposedly conversing. And to make matters worse, there is no toilet built for this drinkers so they end up urinating on the wall outside the gate. The accumulated urine stench is unbelievable.

To make matters worse, my dad was in town for a couple of days this week and wanted to come see my house. The only time he was free was at night and I practically shooed him away just so he doesn't get all paranoid because of my environment. I made him come early in the morning instead, imagine!

The annoying part is that I paid A LOT OF MONEY for this "house". Even I still don't believe I coughed out that much for a house, talkless of this crap.

I just sha think it's very unfair. We are forced to pay so much money and yet treated like we have no say in our own house. And oh, the Landlord also lives in a flat downstairs. I keep complaining about the noise and I am told that I am not in Jand where they have noise control services.

Nigeria should pass a Noise Control Act or something. I sha know there is something called Abuja Environmental Protection Board (AEPB). I am thinking of reporting my landlord to them oh..............I mean, it is only fair abi? But then, I hear it's this same AEPB that goes around Abuja arresting young women on false accusations of prostitution.

What if I go to their office and they lock me up for prostitution *bbm confused face*


I just checked google and there is even an agency in 9ja, It's called Agency For The Control Of Noise Pollution (ACNP). Sounds like a political parry, lol. And oh my God, I found an article about them and this is what their priority is:   http://www.wazobiareport.com/reports/Noise-control-agency-moves-to-ban-use-of-unnecessary-words

I can't shout.

I feel like this post is gerring too long, sorry oh..it's the boredom. It's gerring dark.....lemme walk back home. A lonnnnng, dry, boring weekend awaits me. I just hope Nepa is kind enough not to make it worse! If not, I just might spend it in this office!

Nigeria: A Cashless Society?

One thing about us - we like to copy! And the newest thing in Nigeria is this lofty dream of making it a cashless society. Yes, I said lofty. Sue me!

Sure, living in a cashless society does have its perks. But I honestly do not think Nigerians are ready or equipped for the technicalities that come with it.

Uncle Sanusi, how far na?

Last I checked, Nigeria and America no dey the same level.

For starters, they have steady electricity and access to the internet. Transiting from a cash-based society to a cashless one means falling back on technology. It means human capital will be replaced with machines. Most, if not all machines require to use of electricity. Nigeria is nowhere near having steady electricity so wouldn't this be a case of putting the cart before the horse?

I read that some 300 Zenith Bank IT staff were sacked yesterday and the next set on the chopping board will be the bulk counters. Reason is, when we transit to a cashless society, we would no longer have need for those whose jobs are to count money.

For a country with a staggering rate of unemployment, it only gets worse.

From December 2011, CBN has mandated that it will restrict individual withdrawals to N150,000. Anybody who withdraws above the said amount will be charged N100 for every 1,000 exceeded by the limit. Seriously?! It is now a crime to withdraw your own money.

I read a Thisday columnist complain about her bank charging her because she gave someone a cheque for N50,000 and their justification was that she could have done an internet transfer instead. They conveniently assumed she had access to the internet and access to electricity for that matter.

As we speak, there are still villages in Nigeria that have no access to electricity. There are people who have never even seen a computer before talkless of knowing what the internet is.

What will happen is people will now start keeping large sums of money under their beds and armed robber will get enough motivation to remain in their trade.

Ordinary ATM that we use has caused enough wahala with lack of appropriate security measures employed by these banks. This new cashless society theory will be sure to see more yahoo boys repeatedly smiling to the banks.

Imagine doing something as simple as withdrawing cash from the ATM and having your bank debit your account twice and in some cases, not even dispensing cash at all. I remember when I wanted to pay my rent. The lawyer refused to accept a cheque for some odd reason. So i was left with the option of paying cash - I had to get some cash from the ATM to add to what I had already. I was about to make the last withdrawal of N20,000 and the cash wasn't dispensed yet I got a debit alert instantly.

I almost went crazy because I was working with a timeline - if I didn't pay for the house that day, someone else could take it and the lawyer was already waiting for me. I became almost frantic. I went into the bank whose ATM I had used and the Customer Service person looked at me sympathetically and said there was nothing he could do and instructed me to go clarify the issue with my bank

I got to my bank and they told me it could take up to 10 working days!!! 10days!! Why do I have to wait  2 weeks for an error caused by them. I was almost livid. I had to run around like a mad woman looking for where to borrow 20k because I had no other money.

This has happened to me more than once and I know a million people that have gone through similar situations. It's funny but I am beginning to suspect these banks do this deliberately.

Imagine if 100,000 Nigerians suffer this same thing everyday. And let's assume the amount is N20,000.

100,000 Nigerians X 20,000 = 2 billion Naira

And in most cases, they end up not giving you back your cash till 10 working days elapse.

Imagine what a bank can do with 2 billion Naira in 2 weeks. They could trade with that money and make insane interests in 2 weeks.

After they "borrow" 2 billion Naira from unsuspecting Nigerians, they give it back to us with 0% and we are supposed to go home smiling. Go and try to borrow money from your bank and hear the mad interest rates they'll give you.

So this issue of islamic banking (non-interest lending) didn't just crop up. They've been practicing it with unsuspecting customers since the beginning of time. Greedy people.

Mr Sanusi should know this though: Becoming a supposedly cashless society isn't going to make Nigeria one of the 20 most developed nations in the world as is his aim. Not even close.

God Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow road many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you


Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true


That God bless the broken road
That led me straight to you


I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that's coming true

I love love love this song by Rascal Flatts. I keep rehearsing with it for the day it'll finally be true for me. Yeah, you could call it a "faith song" perhaps.

The writer of this song talks about how every heart break he ever had led him to his true love.

For me though, this song has a deeper  meaning and goes beyond heartbreak and love.

The Broken Road signifies a place of wilderness. It is a place where everything seems to be going wrong. It is a place of sickness, poverty, frustration, sin, unemployment, dissatisfaction with life etc etc.

The Broken Road is not a nice road to go through. It is filled with rough bumps and potholes as big as gullies. It is never a smooth ride on the Broken Road. The bumps on this road keep tossing you back and forth, left and right. And if you are like me who gets car sick sometimes, this road will be your biggest nightmare.

When you are on the this road, the word 'temptation' comes alive in its full dimension. Ever wondered why satan always appears when we are at our weakest? When Jesus went up to the wilderness to fast for 40 days and nights, that was when satan decided he was best for him to be tempted. Because he knew Jesus was fasting and hadn't eaten food, he decided to capitalize on that by tempting him to turn stones to bread.

And he hasn't stopped since then. He's still very much in the business of tempting God's children. And guess when the idiot shows up? When we are at our weakest - when bumps and potholes are bouncing us up and down, left and right, sideways and upside down.

But the Broken Road is also a place of brokenness - it breaks you to the point where you can't help but cry out to God to change your situation. And when you get to that point where you are broken before God, that's where healing and restoration begins. That's where miracles happen.

Remember the woman with the issue of blood? She had been suffering in her own pool of blood for 12 years. 12 years no be beans. I have spent 2 weeks in the hospital before and it felt like eternity. Imagine being sick for 12 whole years! He blood was her Broken Road. And then one day, she heard Jesus was passing through and I guess she had reached her limit by then, she had gotten to the point where she could not bare it any more - the point of brokenness. And she said to herself "Omo, today this thing go end!" And through the crowd, despite the near impossibility, she touched the hem of His garment.

You see, this woman was desperate for a healing. She was broken. And this propelled her to get her miracle. And we know the rest.

God has been so faithful to me in 2011. I have a lot going for me this year that I could never have fathomed will happen to me a year ago. I moved to a town where I practically knew nobody and He just started blessing me in ways I never expected. Things that other people struggle years for, He gave them to me in a blink of an eye without any stress. The beautiful thing is, I was on the Broken Road last year. And my Broken Road has led me to my place of restoration.

I am not where I wanna be but mehn, I am so far ahead from where I used to be. I sit down and think back about all the pain I went through last year and I'm happy I went through all that pain. If I hadn't, I would still be living my life normally (not walking towards my purpose).

But thank God for His Grace! My Broken Road has led me to my place of purpose. It has led me to the REASON I was created. I haven't fully fulfilled that purpose yet. But I have started. And I couldn't be any happier. I can't stop being grateful to my God - The Restorer of Broken Roads.

God Won't Clean Our Airports!

So the other weekend, I had to take a short trip home to see my mama and dada. I get to the ticket counter and I'm informed that I have to pay an extra thousand naira without explaining to me why. And the very rude "counter man" rudely told me it wasn't compulsory but he'd advise me to pay the fee. I asked him why I should pay when I do not know what I'm paying for.

I sha carried my bag and proceeded to enter the departure lounge. There comes this woman who says I can't get in till I pay for ***scrambled English I couldn't figure out**

And I asked aloud what **the thing** is and she says I should go back to my airline to get it without trying to explain what it is.

I go back to the airline I'm flying with and the counter man gave me a I-told-you-so look, very annoying! I just sha gave him the 1k because I was too tired and I obviously wasn't gonna get in without it.

It was a little ticket with "Passenger Service Charge" written on it. As was indicated, it was a FAAN (Federal Airports Authority of Nigeria) "initiative"! How the word "initiative" is grossly misused in Nigeria beats me.

I was sooooooooo angry! Surely, my anger was justified. With this silent anger, the screening lady tells me to take off my shoes before I pass through. I ordinarily wouldn't mind this except ermmm a thousand people before me just passed without even dropping their bags, having "settled" the screening lady!

Which kain country be this? That was all I kept asking myself. I grudgingly took off my shoes and the detector still beeped anyway. She wasn't even bothered. Some months ago, we took off belts, wristwatches, you name it and now, they really can't be bothered. Inconsistency really is our watchword in Nigeria.

And now, to the thing that REALLY made me ANGRY. So angry that, 2 weeks later, I'm still very irked about the issue. It was a Friday and the departure lounge was jammed with people waiting for their flights. At the point I was there, there were no less than 500 people in there. And this is me trying to be conservative with figures.

The accountant in me quickly did the Math - N1,000 X 500 people = N500,000

Obviously, over a thousand people had travelled from that airport on that day alone. But what I was concerned with was the people are I could currently see. At that point, FAAN was N500k richer and yet we were dying inside heat. I was afraid to yawn because I was scared cobwebs would fall inside my mouth. More than half the very dirty ceiling fans were not working. Ventilation was almost zero. In this day and age, ABUJA AIRPORT still uses louvres! Not just louvres but very very very dirty half-broken ones.

Let's not talk about the horrible toilets! No, God, no!!

By the way, why do all those airport female voices that make the announcements sound so annoying - like nails on a chalkboard? Just wondering.......

There were a handful of air-conditioning units and none were working. If this were Benin Airport, maybe I wouldn't have been so angry. And by the way, Benin has the worst airport I have ever seen in my entire life. I flew through there once and I almost thought I was in a dream...

Anyways, back to the airport in Nigeria's CAPITAL City - I looked around the airport and everybody seemed normal. Was I the only mad person here??

The sad thing about Nigeria is that ABNORMAL things have become the NORM. Doesn't that make us mad people? We see kids hawking pure water by 11am on a Monday morning and it's normal...

Now, 1k isn't too much money. But if FAAN makes up to a million naira everyday just from Abuja Airport, surely we should be entitled to clean toilets, air conditioning, or atleast fans that work.

This airport thing sha has me going mad. Someone in my office was talking about it today and my feelings of anger have been resurrected. Somebody, somewhere will just sit down and his or her office and devise a way to chop free money and we have no say in the matter. As if the air fares (which they increase per second) isn't high enough!

May God save us! But we can also make some small human effort(s) to save ourselves. As powerful as God is, He isn't gonna come down and build clean airports for us!

Convo With Mummy

Mum: How are you naw, howz work and how are your exams coming along?

Me: Fine oh, thank God!

Mum: Your birthday is on Thursday oh

Me: Oh jeez, thank you for reminding me. This is proof that you did not thief me from the hospital

Us: Laughter

Mum: Hmmm....you are getting old oh!

Me: Yes I know. Me sef, I am feeling old for the 1st time

Mum: And me sef I am feeling older. Pls hurry up abeg, I cannot wait

Me: Mummy take it easy naw. Afterall there are people who dont get married till they are 30yrs

Mum: God forbid! See what you are saying with your own mouth. Don't you know that words are very powerful. I cancel it in Jesus name!

Me: Amen

Mum: Please hurry up abeg, time is going..

Me: Yes ma. But I have to see the husband 1st naw

Mum: Are you looking for husband.

Me: Ehen naw, seriously sef.

Mum: Please dont look too hard abeg. Just select one. You are not in heaven.

Me: What has heaven got to do with this talk?

Mum: You are not in heaven so stop looking for a perfect man. It is only in heaven that you'll see angels

Me: Laughing uncontrollably

Mum: It is not a laughing matter oh!

Me: Ok mummy, no wahala. I will try not to look too hard

Mum: Ok naw. Take care


Mehn, how time flies. I cannot believe I just had the above conversation with my mother. This is the same woman that would not allow boys visit me at home when I was growing up. Even girls sef. If you so much as rubbed vaseline on your lips, she would pronounce you a "bad influence".

I remember once when "Hipstars" was reigning. My father bought hipstars for me and coincidentally, one mumu boy came to my house the next day to look for me. For no reason. After that, my mother was so furious, she decided it was because of the hipstars that's why boys were now beginning to have interest in me. Na so she ban me from wearing trousers. No joke. I was about 14yrs. I didnt wear trousers till I was in my 2nd year in the University.

So when I eventually had a boyfriend, it was hard for me to talk to my mum about man issues. The topic was almost sacred in my household. Until last year, when I was 23, that was when she started deciding I had won "man privileges". Now, I no dey hear word again. How ironic.

For her sake, I hope I marry sometime in this century. For her sake. And for the sake of my phone battery - so she doesn't run it down talking about the issue..

Lol....

Making It A Tad Easier....

There's this very efficient guy we have in my office. Officially, he's employed as a cleaner but....he ends up doing a lot of all the other menial stuff..

I call him efficient because he's always punctual, always ready to work, never grumbling, very humble...he just has a gentle soul and I'm drawn in by his gentle and calm nature......sometimes I wish I could be THAT gentle and calm......I think I may have been made to be that way originally but somehow, life has just made me (passive)aggressive....not my fault, really!

I have this habit of wondering about people. I wonder about what their story is and why they are where they are or the way they are. I guess I like the headache in some weird sorta way.

So, as expected, I've been wondering about this gentle boy called Ezra. In my head, he couldn't be anymore than 22. or highest, 24. And I wondered what unfair thing could have possibly happened to him for him to end up this way.

I decided to engage him in a chat and I found out he left secondary school in 2005 - 6 years ago!! My sister left secondary school in 2005 and she's a 5th year med student.

Apparently, after he graduated, he went to driving school, worked as a driver etc etc. But at some point, he fell ill and had to stop working. He also has 3 siblings whom he takes care of ie pays their school fees! By the way, his salary is N15,000. Two of his siblings fees are N7,000 each and the other is N8,000. So in a term, he has to pay fees of N22,000.

N22,000 is very little money to some people. There are people who spend 100k on a bottle of champagne without even blinking. That's even going too far. A MAC powder is about 8,000. Now, that's someone's school fees. And oh, I forgot Brazilian hair...I hear even the fake ones cost as much as 15k! Anyways, if I start with the comparisons, I no go finish today.

I also found out he's 27years - older than me with 3 or 4yrs. And here I am, being called "ma" by someone who's old enough to be my elder brother. Who am I?

But like they say, that's how life is - unfair.

I dont even know what I'm writing anymore sef. But I just feel pained that people have to suffer. Not like that changes anything. Even the Bible confirms that there'll always be poverty. But does that make it ok?

Even though we know suffering and poverty cannot be totally extinguished, in our own little way, we all can do something to make it just a tad easier for those people whom we are more privileged than...

...... my thoughts are not very co-ordinated today...I've been having Malaria-ish feelings....I don't know if it's stress (My exams start in 5days, Jesus!) or if it's Malaria. In 9ja, we are always quick to call every illness malaria....anyways........be back when my head is in order..

Do Mad Men Dream?

I was walking on the road the other day and I saw a mad man fast asleep on  a Nepa pole. Well, not the pole itself but "the thing" that keeps the pole in place.

Anyways, a thought suddenly struck me and I wonder(ed) if mad men have dreams. What do they dream about? Do they have nightmares? In their dreams, are they sane or still insane?

When they wake up, do they remember these dreams?

It's very possible that mad men have dreams. They might even have a dream where the cure for cancer is discovered. Who knows? A mad man may have the answers to the world's biggest problems. But I guess we'll never know...

So, I decided to turn to the world's biggest ITK (I-too-know) that always has answers to even the silliest questions.

Enter www.google.com.

Trust google, while trying to find answers to a silly question, a million other silly related questions will pop up. I saw questions like: Do blind people have dreams? Do dogs have dreams? Apparently, there are plenty crase people in this world.

So I asked google if lunatics have dreams and I couldn't/have not been able to get a definite answer. Google don fall my hand. I guess I might just have to ask a psychiatrist. Or ask a mad man :-D

Or just wonder forever.


By the way, a big yaaaaayyy to one of the major highlights of this month - Manchester United winning the Premiership Title for the 19th time. Yaaaay! The smile on Uncle Alex's face is just priceless....

Looking forward to this Saturday with Barcelona when we'll hopefully win the Champions' League.

If When that happens, I just might tear dress and enter road :-D


And to my song of the week. It's by Brandi Carlile and is titled "Hiding My Heart Away".

Very apt.

Gaddemit!!

I have a crush on somborri....

Imagine.....

As old as I am......crushing like I'm in secondary school...

Maybe it's a little more than a crush...but then, I choose to call it a crush..bcos that's what it should be...

But this crush is getting crushier....bcos we kissed.....I had hoped the kiss would be terrible so the crush will die a natural death...

But gaddemit, it was sooooooog goood! Why!

Now, I'm sitting here at werk and I'm thinking of him......gadddemit!!

And smiling too, gaddemit!!

May Is Here, Yayyy!!

Today is the first day of May and I feel great. The sermon preached by my pastor (Managing Your Finances) was awesome. According to him, sometimes what we need isn’t necessarily more money but how to manage the money we already have. He talked about most people (especially in Abuja) living beyond their means and living fake lives all in a bid to “impress”. He talked about girls who have three phones, make their (brazillian) hair on credit, buy clothes on credit and yet do not have money to pay their rent. He also talked about staying away from debt except unavoidable and how important it is to prioritise. It really was a great time in God’s presence. I haven’t paid my tithe this year. The first two months were beyond my control but what happened to March and April? For someone who is (was?) passionate about giving to God, I really am disappointed in myself. But thank God for His grace. He continues to bless me even in my foolishness. I am definitely gonna restart my tithe paying.

Apart from the awesome church service, I felt/feel great about this month. Some days ago, I already drew up a time-table of what my life is going to be like this month. It includes serious praying and fasting for the whole month, exercising atleast 30 minutes everyday, staying off carbohydrates (rice, garri and co), staying off red meat, staying off SHAWARMA (Oh God please help!), studying for my ACCA exams (a month away!) for a minimum of 6hrs everyday, sleeping for not more than 6hrs everyday, etc etc.

On my way back from church, I passed by an accident scene and all I could do was shout “Jesus!”. It wasn’t a nice sight. Two cars had collided, one of d cars hit a street light, it was so badly damaged I shudder to think of what could have happened to its occupants. It’s amazing how I had passed this same junction on my way to church just three hours ago. I said a silent prayer for the accident victims and hope no life was lost.

It’s very easy for us to slip into our different everyday routines and take for granted the grace and mercy that God doesn’t get tired of showering on us. Every trip in and out of my house is a miracle. It isn’t even something  that should be taken for granted, regardless of how little it may seem.

I stopped a few metres from my house to buy food (I’ve been too busy to cook, God help me!) and during my short waka back home, I saw a man eating out of bags that were obviously taken out of the dumpster. Yet there I was, holding a nicely cooked plate of beans and plantain. Why don’t I eat out of dumpsters? Am I too righteous? No! Am I too upright? No! It’s just by His never-failing Grace..

But then, I’m thinking, those who eat out of dumpsters, the people who were involved in that accident today, are they any less righteous? Any less deserving? The people who were recently killed by natural disasters in Japan and America, were they any less deserving than us here in Nigeria? I always fall back into these rhetorical questions..I wonder why. All in all sha, these things just make me appreciate God all the more and His Covering over my life despite my shortcomings and weaknesses..

On the flip side, my aproko side couldn’t help but notice the girl that sat next to me in church wore a pair of knee-high winter boots! As in!! Inside this hot Abuja sun where it’d be perfectly justifiable to tear out ur skin because of heat, some others choose to wear knee-high winter boots, sheesh! And there was a girl that sat behind me that said “Praise GAD” atleast 100 times…I was tempted to turn back and atleast look at her face! AND the one that I just don’t understand – there were a couple of people shouting “LUYAH” instead of “HALLELUIA”!

Maybe I’m just old skool, but someone saying luyah instead of Halleluia is just plain….(what’s the word??!) Is it part of the efizzi to sound cool or is it just plain laziness to pronounce words in full? Or maybe we should blame it on Blackberries that have facilitated the shortening of just about everything. Even “In Jesus Name” is now IJN. Smh. It might just be me being old fashioned but if every word should be abbreviated, no wahala but please please please, leave religion out of it…surely, that’s possible….

And I’m sad Manchester United lost the game today at this very critical period…dashing 3 points to that yeye Arsenal…I’m not happy…but I’m keeping hope alive…we can still win the Premiership this season, Amen!

Free Popcorn + Sprite

So the other day, I went to Silverbird to see a movie (No Strings Attached with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman). Coincidentally, it was free popcorn day. As part of some business strategy, Silverbird gives out a free pack of popcorn + one bottle of coke once every week in all Silverbird Cinemas nationwide. I can't argue with their strategy. I mean, I'm not a sucker for popcorn (free or otherwise) so I wouldn't wear dress and waka to Silverbird to watch film because of free popcorn.But loads of people will and do, apparently!

Anyways, on to my main gist. I was a few minutes late for my movie so I decided I couldn't wait in line line for the free popcorn and would get mine after the movie.

So, after the movie, I went to the popcorn stand with my free voucher and I was duly given my popcorn. Time to get my bottle of Sprite (which I was more interested in!) and the dude gave me a HOT bottle of Sprite. I could have sworn it was fresh from the oven! It was smouldering, I almost burnt my fingers!

I politely drew the "drink-giver's" attention to the fact that my drink was hot. And he told me that was the only available option. That would have been almost fine except errr, I could see a fridge FULL of cold drinks. I once again nicely pointed out the cold drinks to him. And he UNBELIEVABLY told me the cold ones were for sale!!!

Unbelievable! I was so outraged, I had acute difficulty expressing my rage.So because my drink is free, the management of Silverbird cannot be bothered to get it refrigerated? Did I beg to be given free Sprite?

Or maybe their strategy is to piss people off wit the free hot drinks so that they eventually don't have to give out too many free drinks. I decided not to give them that satisfaction and with the strongest face I could come up with, I took my hot Sprite to my house and put it in the fridge, hissing all the way like a pepper seller.

What rubbish.

Are We Really Better Off?

I was in a cab the other day when the cab driver threw an empty sachet of pure water out the window. Me being a Keep-Nigeria-Clean activist couldn't resist chiding him for littering the road.

Me: Oga why you dey dirty our road na? Abi you no like as e clean so?
Cab Man: My sister, it is for the good of us all

According to him, if the streets remained cleaned, the people who are employed to sweep and keep the streets tidy would be out of jobs. He claimed that he wasn't one to litter the streets but did it every now and then just to  save the jobs of his fellow Nigerians. Twisted logic but I somehow agreed with him.....if littering the streets every now and then  will reduce the unemployment rate and keep more people away from criminal activities, then by all means, litter the streets!

But now sha, thinking about it....it really doesn't make all the sense in the world...I mean, we can have other alternatives of keeping our environment tidy which can also provide employment for the masses. E.g Having waste bins located on every corner. If the waste bins will be produced in Nigeria, people would be employed to work in the factories producing them, our Rubber industry would expand from increasing need for plastic...etc etc. And that's just the most basic out of a gazillion.

But 9ja sha, we like to import things. When I heard that the elections had been postponed due to late arrival of election materials into the country, what got to me first wasn't even the postponement; it was the fact that we had to import from SOUTH AFRICA. I mean, really!

Some claim that INEC wanted to be truly independent and didnt want leakages bla bla....but now, these imported materials are gonna be in Nigeria for ONE WEEK before they are used. So what was the point of "isolation" in the first instance?? *Smh*

Back in 2003, when MTN and co first came to Nigeria; there was a sudden outburst of self employed people - setting up call centres aka bizness centres. The basic requirements were 1 chair, 1 table, 1 umbrella and a phone. It used to be a booming business because of the cut-throat prices telcoms companies offered. I remember when a 1 minute call cost N50!! There was nothing like per second. If you so much as "flashed" somborri and the person picked for even one second, MTN will mercilessly take your 50 box. Wicked people.

And so for those of us who couldnt afford to buy the Booster Card (N4,000), we had to be regular customers of the bizness centre people who charged about 30 naira or so. But these days mehn, things have changed, supposedly for the better. But is it really better?

Gone are the days where we would regularly go to a Cybercafe to "buy time". Everybody now has a laptop (thanks to China, lol). Life is easier. The standard of living is supposedly better. But is it really better?

Yeah, we have much much cheaper call rates than we did in 2003. The cost of purchasing a SIM card is almost next to nothing. We have blackberries and phones we can access the internet with. Even I cant keep up with new technology that spring up every day. Just when I'm thinking of saving for the next 10yrs to get an iPhone4, I hear say iPhone 5 is on the way out, lol.

But do we every stop to consider what has happened to those people whose main source of livelihood was the profit they got from making calls. What happened to those people who were able to send their children to school from money they got from their cyber cafe businesses? What other alternatives did they turn to?

Another business? Crime? Politics? Where are they? Did things get so bad they had to relocate back to their villages?

About two years ago, okada was banned from Port Harcourt. With little or no prior notice given to the okada riders, the Rivers State govt woke up one day and said "Hey, you know what? No more Okada!"

They claimed it aided and abetted most of the criminal activities being carried out in the town. People like my father lauded the move because according to him, too many people were dying daily from okada accidents. I wasn't happy about it. No, I wasnt an okada rider. Neither did I have a boyfriend who was an okada rider, lol.

But there is something called empathy. Yes, Okada had its disadvantages. But why couldn't the Govt have provided better alternatives. Why not give these Okada riders 1 - 2 years notice. Compel them to open a savings account where they'd have had to deposit a certain amount of money weekly, monthly or quarterly. And then at the end of two years, sum up all savings and use it as a deposit for the down payment of a car which will be used as a cab. Whatever the difference is, they can make it up overtime.

That way, everybody is happy. The Okada man is happy for having a more gainful employment. The average citizen is happy for the reduced risk of falling off a bike and breakings heads and bones. The average citizen is happy for a better means of transportation.

Anyway sha, today is just one of my I-tire-for-9ja dyas. I shall stop ranting already.

Writing Aloud...

Mehn, today I heard a disturbing/funny/sad/partially surprising news. My cousin had a baby yesterday! Now, I haven’t seen her in a while so I didn’t even know she’d been preggers. Having a baby is a normal thing, you’d say except that my cousin is unmarried and atleast four years younger than I am. And I’m 23. (or 24 if I add this year). That makes her 19 (or 20 if I add this year). My younger sis who is also older than my cousin called to give me the gist and she said we were dulling in our (immediate) family. That is, nothing this dramatic ever happens in my house. We’re just boring people, I guess! Anyways, this technically makes my aunty a grandma! Coincidentally, my aunty also had her first baby at 16, 17 or some funny age. So I wonder, will she have any right(s) to be mad at her 20 year old who waited a little longer than she did? Hmm!

I spoke with my mum and she also just found out. Apparently, my aunty (her younger sis) hid the news from her. And I’m  wondering what’s going on in my mum’s head seeing as her “grand-maternal hormones” have been raging these days and she’s been singing marriage in my ear. The name of the song is “It Is Better To Marry Early”. 9ja Top 10. See me see wahala. Anyway, I hope she isn’t jealous of my aunt’s new grandmother status…lol. I joked that if I’d towed the line of my cousin, my kid will probably be in Primary 1 by now. My mother didn’t laugh. Lol.

My cousin life don get K-leg. Just like that. And that’s how the cookie crumbled. She refused to go to school, and blamed it on her inability to comprehend whatever was being taught. Whoever got her preggers obviously isn’t in any position to marry her. I’m sad for her. Sadder for the baby. Innocent baby.

And then, it got me back to thinking about “Unanswerable Questions”. Like some girl in my former office. Serious born again chic who married as a virgin. She attends Deeper Life. As in, no earrings, no make-up, no hair extensions type. She’s so cool, she’s the coolest deeper lifer I ever met. She doesn’t have any of that stuck-up attitude people like her usually have towards us “sinners” who fix our hair, wear trousers and rub lipstick. Anyway, she’s been married for a number of years but is still believing God for the fruit of the womb. In that same office, there’s an unmarried woman who has a kid and is presently heavily pregnant again. And I wonder what’s going through the cool deeper lifer’s head. Questions?

Questions that every now and then go through everybody’s(or at least mine!) minds. Situations that defy logic. Like now, here’s my lil cousin, she’s been blessed with the blessing of a child, without deserving it, without even wanting it. And yet, there are a million people who deserve it, who yearn for it, and more importantly, walk upright with God and yet, nothing….

I’m not asking….I’m just thinking writing aloud…..